| StreetDance 3D: tripping the right fantastic Not sure you can stomach a 3D mash-up of ballet and street dance, Charlotte Rampling and George Sampson, out on DVD this week? Try Paul MacInnes's condensed screenplay insteadStreetDance 3DBy Paul MacInnes, with apologies to Jane EnglishSCENE 1EXT – London. Dawn over the sprawling METROPOLIS, or at least the picturesque bit. Cut to a grand building. It may look like St Paul's Cathedral but for the purposes of this movie it is FRED'S CAFE. Inside are NICHOLA BURLEY, GEORGE SAMPSON and the rest of the J20 street dance crew. George is serving customers while Carly is reading the latest STREET DANCE TIMES. The rest of the crew are at a table, eating fried chicken.NICHOLA BURLEY: I love street dance.GEORGE SAMPSON [turning his baseball cap to a sympathetic angle]: Me too.BURLEY: I love it because it's real and it's street and not fake like boring old ballet.SAMPSON: Yeah! Now watch me do the electric boogaloo!SAMPSON starts dancing as if he's been electrocuted, Then he sticks his fingers in the toaster. Now no one can tell whether he's genuinely electrocuted or not. Fortunately they're not bothered either way.The camera switches to Burley's face. It is doing its best to appear shocked. She is reading a headline in the Street Dance Times: "OMGZ BRUV! NO HOPE NICHOLA DUMPED BY BOYF! HE JOINS DEADLY RIVALS! UK STREETDANCE CHAMPS JUST TWO WEEKS AWAY!" It is a long headline.Burley's eyes begin to swell with tears. She opens her mouth but the words can barely come outBURLEY: Number 22 ... chicken salad ... no chips.In the far corner of the room a woman lowers her copy of BALLET MONTHLY to reveal her face. It is world famous French person Charlotte Rampling. She raises her hand.CHARLOTTE RAMPLING: Ah sink ah can 'elp you weef zat, mah dear ...SCENE 2INT – The Houses of Parliament. Or, for the purposes of this movie, The London Ballet School of Dance. CHARLOTTE RAMPLING is walking around the hall, gesticulating with a walking stick. She is a TUTOR at the school and has a suggestion for BURLEY.RAMPLING: Zo, ewe want to get ure own back on your luvveur?BURLEY: No, I want to win the UK street dance championships. Street dance is my life.RAMPLING: Ah see. What eef I could 'elp you win at dancing and at lurrrrve?BURLEY [thinking]: OK, let's hear it ...RAMPLING whacks her stick on the arse of one of her ballet dancers, RICHARD WINSOR. He turns round to look at BURLEY. His eyes are ABLAZE with passion. As, in fact, is his jockstrap.RAMPLING: I wurnt ewe two to werk together. To mek somesing new, somesing brave, somesing fresh.BURLEY: A meal deal combo with coleslaw, beans AND fries?RAMPLING: Non. I wurnt ewe to dance!SCENE 2INT – Battersea Power Station. Or, for the purposes of this movie, Battersea Power Station. It is the FINAL of the UK STREET DANCE CHAMPIONSHIP. All around the room are faces you will recognise from Britain's Got Talent, about to fight each other through dance. At the corner of the stage stand BURLEY and her ex, UKWELL ROACH. They are fighting each other through fighting.ROACH: Once you've seen my fresh moves, you gonna cry like a baby, babes.ROACH starts dancing, his body forming itself into different shapes – successively a robot, a tree, a vending machine, a hatchback car and a wombat. He stops and the crowd go wild, nodding at each other as if they are in a position to judge how good it was.BURLEY backs away from ROACH and begins to cry. Her dreams of success lie shattered. The crowd in the arena start laughing, booing and making fart noises with their armpits. Then, suddenly, from the far corner of the stage, a pair of buttocks emerge and shuffle across the stage towards ROACH. They belong to buff ballet dancer WINSOR!BURLEY [smiling]: Alright, tutu cheeks!WINSOR smiles back at BURLEY and grabs her hand. They start to ballet dance together. The crowd continue to laugh. But just as they are performing a boring pirouette which stopped being interesting in 1842 or something, GEORGE SAMPSON appears with a spangly boombox. He gives the crowd a cheeky, lovable wink and presses play. Proper music starts coming out.BURLEY:Let's do it babes!BURLEY and WINSOR begin to perform an unprecedented synthesis of street dance and ballet.ROACH: Oh my days, it's an unprecedented synthesis of street dance and ballet!The crowd goes wild. BURLEY smiles. She looks into WINSOR'S eyes and kisses his plumptious, posh lips. Up in the stands, CHARLOTTE RAMPLING watches, eating steak tartare.RAMPLING: Zat's mah gurrrlll!Action and adventureDance3DPaul MacInnesguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Axl and Duff reunite onstage Guns N’ Roses singer Axl Rose was reunited with former bandmate Duff McKagan onstage last night. feeds.breakingnews.ie |
Carry on watching through the cuts: cinema on the cheap Film fans will no doubt feel the pinch of spending review. So here are some tips for seeing films as cheaply as possible. Or, even, for freeIt's not yet clear what the spending review will mean for homegrown film-making. Unless they reveal today whatever body will replace the axed UK Film Council in its dishing-out-cash duties, we can pretty much rest assured that it's probably not coming up roses for today's aspirant directors.The bigger impact of the spending cuts will, more likely, be on us, the cinemagoers, rather than the moviemakers. With depleted wallets and ever more depressing living quarters, we'll probably be both wanting to hit the cinema more. Yet, in the new age of inflated prices and 3D bells and whistles (rather than the good old cheapo cinema days of the Great Depression), ever less able to do so.So, let's club together and share our tips about how to get to see movies, if not for free, then as cheaply as possible. Please keep them as legal as possible. Here's five to kick us off – yes, they're a little London-centric; do post correctives.Switch on your TVThe best films you'll see this year are almost certainly the ones on TV. Even on terrestrial and Freeview, you can choose, most weeks, from a huge array of terrific movies. Sure, it's not free: the licence fee will set you back £150 per year, and a decent recordable DVD player another £200 (so you can bank up those films on too late or too early – one thing we learnt from our week of liveblogging films on TV is just how classy Channel 4's matinee strand can be). Still, it'll work out a bargain if you see enough of them.Sign up for free screeningsNewspapers are forever organising them (ditto covermount DVDs and free downloads). Sign up with Show Film First; Paramount and Momentum have mailing lists that'll tip you off to upcoming free previews; probably other distributors, too. Follow companies on Twitter, or individual films on Facebook, for similar results. The Scoop at More London runs free events, sometimes screenings, in an outdoor sunken amphitheatre just by City Hall on the south bank of the Thames. Music festivals generally have a film tent; you'll have paid already, but still.Don't forget weekdaysMondays are often half price. The Vue chain offers tickets from £3.75. The Coronet in Notting Hill is cheap on Mondays if you're a student and on Tuesdays if you're not. Orange Wednesdays are widely known and used; other companies run similar deals on different nights or the DVD rental services. Alternatively, up your stamina. Double bills often offer 2 for 1 value; the Riverside cinema runs some classy ones, likewise the Rio in Dalston.Become a memberJoining a film society is a wise investment. In Chester you can see 19 films for £38, in Thanet (in the lovely Palace Cinema in Broadstairs) annual membership is £4; you'll pay the same again for each ticket. Londoners are spoilt with the Prince Charles Cinema, which has a terrific, lively programme, and cheap seats even if you're not a member (annual: £10, which means you can get tickets from £1.50). More informal film clubs have also been springing up above pubs, too. The Duke Mitchell at the King's Cross Social Club runs gratis nights. Plenty of terrific DVD rental membership schemes operate and are widely known about. Also: don't forget public libraries, which can offer a much wider selection than down your local store, at a much better price.Make it your jobBecoming a blogger, even just for your own personal site, raises your chances of getting into a press screening considerably. If you don't fancy writing but do fancy a free screening, with wine chucked in if you're lucky, date a blogger. For some, of course, that will be just too high a price.Arts fundingSpending review 2010Catherine Shoardguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Damon 'done' with babies Matt Damon is “done” having kids, once number four arrives shortly. feeds.breakingnews.ie |
Ruffalo 'added to terrorism watchlist' Actor reportedly put on US advisory list after organising screenings of documentary criticising natural gas drillingActor Mark Ruffalo has reportedly been placed on a US terror advisory list after campaigning in support of a documentary highlighting the alleged dangers of natural gas drilling.Ruffalo attracted the attention of Pennsylvania's Office of Homeland Security when he organised screenings for Gasland, which won the special jury prize at this year's Sundance film festival, and said he was concerned about the impact of drilling on water supplies. The actor has addressed the subject in the latest edition of American GQ.Gasland, directed by Josh Fox, follows the film-maker as he visits communities in Pennsylvania where natural gas has been drilled. Fox decided to document his trip after a natural gas company wrote to him in 2008 offering to lease his family's land in Milanville, Pennsylvania for $100,000 (£64,000).The documentary attracted attention for a particular scene in which a local man shows that he is able to set his tapwater on fire (see 2.25 of video, above). Others claim they are suffering from numerous health issues due – they believe – to their water having been contaminated.Gasland has been fiercely opposed by the natural gas industry. A pro-oil and gas organisation, Energy in Depth, has published a list of claimed factual inaccuracies in the documentary.DocumentaryGasEnergyFossil fuelsGlobal terrorismTerrorism policyUnited StatesBen Childguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |